


Avoidance

by spookyscaryiwachan



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, MY IMAGINATION WENT WILD, Oral Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 18:43:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12152559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyscaryiwachan/pseuds/spookyscaryiwachan
Summary: After ignoring her for so long Kaneki finds himself watching Touka, growing concerned with each discreet visit.





	Avoidance

It wasn't a usual thing for him to stalk her. Not that he would call it stalking, as he would never go out of his way to find her - otherwise it breaks his rule to avoid her. Usually she would be at a shopping centre, or the ward's library, places which he began to linger about. It was hard to blatantly ignore her the way he did, so when he first caught a wisp of dark hair, he followed, needing to see as much of her as he could. This became routine for him.

Lately he'd noticed things. Like the dark circles around her eyes, her skin getting paler, her slim body getting even more thin. These weren't good signs, and a lot of the time he saw her rushing to any bathroom nearby. He was worrying for her health, and it seemed like she was still eating Yoriko-chan's food, which she had been warned about several times. He couldn't even tell when she last ate properly, or slept. Even her hair was growing longer, but it was untamed, and he guessed she didn't care about it enough to do anything.

Once he followed her to her apartment, thankful for the small crack in the curtains that allowed him a limited view of her bed and desk. As time went on, her curtains never moved, he assumed she had lost the motivation to move them, preferring a gloomy atmosphere.

He would watch as she came back from a shower, immediately going to her desk to study until extremely late in the night, until she would pass out at her desk. She'd sleep for around two hours, before waking up again, still with an hour or two before she had to get up. Then she would move to her bed, where she couldn't find sleep. It was as if exhausting herself was the only way to get any rest.

He continued observing her, his worry growing to increasing levels.

Sometimes she would lie on her bed, motionless, clutching something so small he couldn't tell what it was. Sometimes she would shoot out of slumber, sobs wracking her body, Kaneki swearing he could hear his heart shatter. She didn't deserve to cry, she deserved a peaceful life, but it seemed she was doing worse than ever.

After he gave her the keychain he followed her back, watching as she threw it aside, solemn, and then going back to it, as if facing a moral dilemma. That night Kaneki watched as she tossed and turned, sleep never coming, only making his guilt increase.

When she stumbled back to her home, the latest she had ever been, she was covered in blood, and cuts, and bruises. He watched in horror as she tried to clean them up, failing, passing out as blood still flowed freely from her abdomen, and limbs, and head. She wasn't even healing right.

Running from the bushes, he opened the door she was too careless to lock, or close properly, going to her side. From up close he could see how severe her wounds were, her shallow breathing and even paler skin. Cleaning her up, he frantically looked for food in her fridge, finding none, and decided to take matters into his own hands, feeding her. At that moment he hated his advanced healing more than ever, for the cuts he self-inflicted kept healing, having to go again and again until her injuries had closed up enough.

Luckily he found bandages, and any other things he might need, dressing her wounds and praying she could forgive him for removing her clothes. It was necessary to help her. He couldn't even admire anything, too focused on the purple, and black, and blue covering her skin. Setting her on her bed, he left to carefully discard the blood-stained clothes, and clean the floor, thankful there was no blood trail outside.

That night he stayed at her side, finding sleep for the first time since he went down his own path.

In the morning Touka Kirishima woke up to a shock. Today was Saturday, she processed, remembering what happened last night. Shouldn't she be dead, she thought, after passing out still injured. Looking down she noticed her bandages, then jumped at the head of white hair on her bed. He turned in his sleep, but didn't wake up, much to Touka's delight. Her heart clenched after not seeing him for so long, clenching again when she noticed things.

His face was thinner, skin paler than she ever remembered, even when he was beaten to a pulp. Though his body had muscle now, it looked sickly. His eyes had major bags under them, and his face - even in sleep - looked uneasy. It was worrying.

She tried to get up, but he was more aware now, eyes flying open as he gripped her hand.  
'You could hurt yourself getting up.' Even his voice was different, hoarse with sleep but laced with pain and misery. Too focused on his tone, she didn't notice him pulling slightly, ushering for her to return to the bed, blankly doing so. They sat in an awkward silence, all-too similar thoughts lingering in their minds.  
'So...' he began uncomfortably, 'how have you been?'  
'I'm fine,' the lie was too obvious, 'You?'  
'I am... also good.' His hand raised to his chin, the gesture giving him away.

With the silence, Kaneki took the opportunity to look around her room. It hadn't changed much, except for the increased amount of textbooks, and the rabbit keychain on her desk.  
'You kept it.' He noted, heart warming. It took Touka a moment to realise what he meant, having to follow his gaze to the object. A small blush dusted her cheek.  
'Yeah... well I wouldn't throw it away, it would be a waste of money.' She recalled Nishiki's words, hating herself for growing so attached to the ratty item, as if it had any meaning.

'I'm glad. It's not like I could ignore your birthday.' You mean so much to me, his thoughts trailed on. That was the end of the conversation, both pondering again, until Touka broke it with her bluntness.

'Why are you following me? I thought you said you weren't into that.'  
'Hah! W-well I'm not.' His hand was on his chin again. Fucking liar.

'I'm not not an idiot, so don't treat me like one.' Maliciousness tainted her tone. So that dick had the guts to ignore her, follow her, and then straight up lie about it too her face.

'You weren't that discreet you know, seems you need to work on that.' Truthfully she only noticed when she crawled back, seeing his head stick out of some plants. Remaining quiet, Kaneki thought about what to say, it seemed she was unaware that he knew about the burdens she was fighting against, and losing.

Changing the subject, he took a tendril of hair, softer than he expected it to be.  
'You look paler now, and more tired.' He commented, feeling guilt. With a downcast look she thought, she didn't know why she was having so much trouble coping. Well she did, but she didn't want to think about it, afraid it would only dishearten her more.

As he looked at her, he was reminded of her injuries, eyes hooded.  
'Who did that to you?' He darkly asked, finger rolling on his knuckle, cracking it. Touka flinched, not used to this at all. Was it something he developed at Aogiri, maybe Jason did it, but it was... different nonetheless.

'Ahh... it was some ghouls I knew a while back.' She didn't want to give him the details, that it was some ghouls she crossed paths with on her years on the street, seeking revenge. 'Pesks', he muttered quietly, before regarding her again.  
'They were strong, weren't they?' He looked at her injuries again, growing quiet. He had left to protect them, and when he was gone she had gotten injured, almost as bad as that day. She couldn't go off and die without his knowledge, he wouldn't allow it.

She let out a weak chuckle  
'You should see what I did to them.' Though it was true she did beat them, fatally wounding the group, it didn't feel as successful as when she had years ago with Ayato.

Kaneki looked away, thinking. What if he had lost Touka-chan that night, what would he have done?

Leaning over to her, he left small pecks along any unblemished skin he could find. He had no idea what he was doing, his only thought being how he wanted, no needed to be near her. He had nearly lost her, and this was a good way to cope.

He placed a light kiss on her bruised lips, mind going wild when he felt her reciprocate. He didn't move closer, press her against him, or cradle her head like he wanted to. No, she was delicate and he was not about to jeopardise that.

But he did want her to feel good.

Everything was pure instinct as he lay her down gently, leaving kisses down her arms, thankful for the shorts and t-shirt she was wearing, for the skin he could see. Taking extremely careful precautions, he was egged on by a small sigh she made, telling him she was enjoying the attention.

Though she should probably be really pissed at him right now, punch him, scream at him, she found herself more relaxed than she had been in a while. She had long since realised her feelings for the previously meek boy, and it seemed after everything he felt the same way.

Her shirt raised slightly, Kaneki taking the opportunity to wrap a firm hand on her waist, scratching slightly. Letting out a gasp, he watched, noting how she was sensitive there. Another arm slithered to her nape, massaging slightly.

With his light, limited touches, she found herself wanting more. She pressed harder against his lips, his slight shock allowing her to glide a tongue to his. The tension increased as their kiss did, a feeling strike in both of them. Kaneki recognised the feeling. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't, not with the situation, so he would have to settle with a temporary solution.

Still in the heat of the kiss, his hands ventured to her breasts. He internally shrieked, was it alright for him to touch her like this, but the soft moan she let out sated him, gaining a little more confidence as he pushed harder. Soon he began pinching her through her bra, delighted at the way she beautifully arched her back. He watched intently as she rubbed her thighs together, trying to alleviate the pressure she felt in her groin.

Getting on his knees, he put his hands on her thighs, sending her a look of hesitance.  
'Please.' She found herself saying, the hands massaging her skin made her dizzy. His hands pulled down her shorts, and her undergarments, Kaneki lusting at the thought of what he could to to her.

Though he would always be gentle with her, even she couldn't be saved from the beast that hid inside him.

He left an affectionate kiss on her sex, Touka mewling at the contact, before descending into her folds.

With all the ghouls he had been eating recently, her taste was a heaven to him, eagerly going to her clit to prompt more of her juices. Pressing down on her hips, so she kept still, he kept his hands fixed where there were no marks. This was about her pleasure, and there was no way he would mix any pain into it.

He was indulging himself, fitting in three sudden fingers than had her cry loudly. The way she hugged his fingers made him even harder.

I shouldn't be doing this.

After ignoring her for so long he didn't have any right to be so close to her. It was unfair, because this was uncharted territory in their relationship, based purely off of pent up emotions that were to hard to quell, and he knew he would only want more when it's over.

He also shouldn't be trailing a hand down to his pants, greedily unbuckling and pulling them down, retracting his fingers from her. He licked them clean, using the lubrication to stroke himself, the slick noises catching her ears.  
'Kaneki,' she moaned, at a particularly harsh suck, hearing his strokes increase speed.  
'Rub the tip.' She commanded, having no idea what she was saying, but Kaneki listened to her anyway, letting out a groan against her.  
'T-twist your hand.' He was moaning now, selfishly getting in the way of his own ministrations on her, Touka grabbing his hair as she kept him at her sex. She was selfish too.

Feeling his stomach tightening, Kaneki knew he wouldn't last long - not with her filling all his senses, and the way he listened to her instructions, making the act of beating one out more enjoyable.

It was hard to focus, Kaneki's eyes screwing shut as felt his and hers pleasure. He didn't know Touka could make those noises, and her strong grip on his hair made him crave her.

Also close, her demands became incoherent, moans blocking the sound. She was holding back, only managing to stutter 'c-cum with me', before groaning again. It was turning her on even more, her ears catching his small huffs, and his eager laps.

His sucks became harsher, tongue swirling against her as his grip tightened around his cock, all his precum slicking his hand. Both reached their orgasm simultaneously, Touka screaming his name. Kaneki's seed coated his hand, her juices flooding him, willingly swallowing every drop. As she struggled to catch her breath, Kaneki managed to get up, facing Touka.

They gave each other a glazed look, trying to understand what had just happened. However, both were aware they didn't regret anything. Taking the initiative, she brought his hand to her mouth, sucking his essence off. He watched intently, letting out the most Kaneki reaction she had seen from him in a while - he blushed.

  
'T-Touka-chan!'

**Author's Note:**

> I was a bit hesitant about this one. Opinions appreciated.


End file.
